The Unfinal Fantasy Series - Kiisu Omakes
by Kiisu no Tidus
Summary: Per request I've bundled all the omakes into one package. Enjoy my collection!
1. The Beginning Of It All (or, The FFX Cas...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy   
  
  
*Tidus, Yuna, Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri and Rikku are all sitting on the floor and eating something  
that looks suspiciously like roasted Sinspawn.*  
  
Tidus: *finishes his portion and stretches* That was good.. *eyeing Rikku's portion* Rikku, you  
gonna eat that?  
  
Rikku: Ramm hu, bek! *stuffs it into her mouth*  
  
Tidus: Yeah. Whatever. *eyes Kimahri's portion, and the Ronso threateningly reaches for his spear*  
  
Yuna: *reaches out and pushes Tidus forward*  
  
Tidus: *falls too close to the fire and singes his hair* Aack! My hair!  
  
Lulu: *snickers*  
  
Wakka: *steals Lulu's portion of roasted Sinspawn*  
  
Lulu: Give that back, I wasn't done with it!  
  
Wakka: I'm starved!  
  
Tidus: *snatches the food from Wakka* Too bad. *munch*  
  
Lulu: *throws her moogle doll at Tidus, it bounces off his hair and lands in the fire*  
  
Tidus: All right! Hair gel saves the day!  
  
Lulu: *starts crying like a baby* I want my dolly!  
  
All (except Lulu): ...  
  
Wakka: So we know where Tidus gets it from...  
  
Lulu and Tidus: *both glare*  
  
Rikku: *continues chewing the huge piece of Sinspawn*  
  
Kimahri: *falls asleep and lands with a thud on the cold stone floor*  
  
Tidus: *reaches for Kimahri's food*  
  
Wakka: *grabs it first* Ha ha!  
  
Tidus: *pulls his hand back and smacks Wakka, who promptly bursts into tears*  
  
Yuna: You're as bad as Tidus.  
  
Tidus: Yuna! I thought you loved me! *big, frightened eyes*  
  
Yuna: I said that? God, what was I thinking?  
  
*Tidus cries hysterically*  
  
Rikku: *leans across the fire* I love you, Tidus. Don't listen to her.  
  
Tidus: ...WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Yuna: I was just kidding, Tidus. Of course I love you...*grabs him and shakes him furiously* Now  
SHUT UP!  
  
Tidus: ...waah?  
  
Yuna: That's better.  
  
Wakka: *finishes Kimahri's food just as the Ronso opens an eye*  
  
Kimahri: Where Kimahri food?  
  
Wakka: *hides the bones behind his back* Tidus ate it.  
  
Tidus: WhaaaAAA?!  
  
Kimahri: *pushes Tidus over again...this time his hair catches on fire*  
  
Tidus: Darn it, I knew I shouldn't have used that much hairspray!  
  
Lulu: So you DO use styling products!  
  
Tidus: You mean you didn't see the empty hairspray bottles all over my tent?  
  
Lulu: *flings a cactuar at Tidus and it gets stuck in his now-sticky hair*  
  
Cactuar: Help! What a way to die! *dies*  
  
Tidus: Cool, my hair kills stuff!  
  
Wakka: So does your B.O.  
  
Tidus: HEY! I showered three days ago!  
  
Yuna: *scoots away, looking disgusted*  
  
Lulu: HOW did I give birth to such an idiot?  
  
Rikku: *finally finishes her food* I'm not saying anything.  
  
Lulu: *throws another cactuar at Rikku, who ducks...it flies into Tidus' hair*  
  
Cactuar 2: Oh no, not this! *dies*  
  
Tidus: *falls over laughing, then stops* I think I split a seam on my shorts.  
  
Yuna: *discreetly tries to peek*  
  
Tidus: Not THERE, Yuna.  
  
Yuna: ...Darn it.  
  
Rikku: Ooh, Tidus wears heart-print boxers!  
  
Tidus: *bursts into tears again* So I'm feminine at heart! It's all such a lie!  
  
Yuna: You mean you ARE gay?  
  
Tidus: No, I mean I'm a girly man.  
  
Wakka: This we knew.  
  
Tidus: *removes a dead cactuar from his hair and tosses it at Wakka...it gets speared on that  
sticky-uppy part of Wakka's hair*  
  
Wakka: My hair kills things too!   
  
Rikku: But less painfully.  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri hungry...  
  
All (except Kimahri): *turn to glare at the Ronso*  
  
*Someone falls into the room*  
  
Tidus: Whoa! *is landed on*  
  
???: Where the hell am I?! *looks around* Ooh...Tidus...  
  
Lulu: *laughs hysterically*  
  
Yuna: Tidus! Have you been cheating on me?!  
  
Tidus: I don't even KNOW her!  
  
Kimahri: Well, apparently something in the space-time continuum brought a fangirl into our midst.  
  
*All stare at Kimahri*  
  
Kimahri: Uhm...Kimahri think this girl from other world? heh...  
  
???: *sits up* I smell food...  
  
Tidus: Oh, not this again.  
  
Rikku: YOU ate more than your fair share, Tidus. Don't give us that.  
  
???: *snatches what little is left of Rikku's portion and gobbles it down*  
  
Rikku: And now SHE steals my food. *tears up* Why must EVERYTHING happen to ME?  
  
Tidus: *looks at the mysterious girl with awe* Her appetite's as big as mine...  
  
Lulu: Just what we need...another Tidus.  
  
???: ExCUSE me, MY name is Tidra.  
  
Lulu: Like I said.  
  
Tidra: ...  
  
Tidus: Cool, another me!  
  
Kimahri: Tidus, do you not get the point here? This is simply a FANGIRL.  
  
*All but Tidra stare at the Ronso*  
  
Tidra: I am NOT a FANGIRL! *produces an exact replica of Tidus' sword and attacks Kimahri,  
who falls asleep halfway through the battle*  
  
Yuna: You made my guardian fall asleep...THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH! *leaps up and hugs  
Tidra tightly*  
  
Tidra: @@;;;; Air...Yuna...can't breathe...  
  
Yuna: Sorry. *lets go*  
  
Tidus: Yuna? Tidra? Wanna go make out somewhere?  
  
Yuna and Tidra: *each grab Tidus by an arm and drag him off*  
  
Wakka: Any chance of more of that food?  
  
Lulu: *starts making out with Wakka to shut him up*  
  
Rikku: And once more, the Al Bhed is left out of the action. But I'm HAPPY that way. *scoots away  
from Kimahri*  
  
Kimahri: *opens an eye* Kimahri want pretty Al Bhed girl...   
  
Rikku: Not a chance in hell.  
  
*Kimahri runs away, sobbing like a baby*  
  
Rikku: *sweatdrops, and joins in with Lulu and Wakka*  
  
Lulu: I guess now isn't the time to tell you...I'm carrying Auron's baby!  
  
Wakka: *runs away screaming*  
  
Rikku: *sweatdrop* Come on, Lulu, let's go make out somewhere private...  
  
Lulu: Okay! And you know, I was kidding...  
  
Rikku: I figured.  
  
Lulu: I'm carrying Tidus' baby!  
  
Rikku: Now THAT takes 'keeping it in the family' a BIT far, Lulu.  
  
Kimahri: *sweatdrops from the shadows*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Tidus finds out he's a father, and Yuna tries to kill Lulu! 


	2. Lulu And Yuna Reveal Their Secret (or, Y...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy  
  
*Lulu, Wakka, Rikku, Tidus, Kimahri, and Yuna (once more) are hanging out around a campfire.  
Lulu is busy scribbling something on a piece of parchment.*  
  
Tidus: *sneakily leans over to peer at Lulu's writing* Huh?! It's all in Al Bhed!  
  
Lulu: *smirks smugly* Tuh'd dno du nayt drehkc oui tuh'd ihtancdyht, Tidus.  
  
Rikku: She means, don't try to read things you don't understand.  
  
Lulu: *looks warningly at Rikku*  
  
Rikku: *scared* Fyed!  
  
Yuna: *snores, sitting upright*  
  
Kimahri: *eyes Tidus suspiciously*  
  
Lulu: Hey Tidus, guess what?  
  
Tidus: What, Lulu?  
  
Lulu: I'm pregnant.  
  
*pause*  
  
Tidus: Uhm...I care why?  
  
Lulu: Oh... *flippantly* It's yours.  
  
Tidus: ...O.O OH MY GOD! *passes out and falls forward, his hair catching on fire for the second  
time this series*  
  
Yuna: *jerks awake* Lulu, you slut!  
  
Lulu: Hey, now it's MY fault?!  
  
Yuna: Uhhh...yup! *leaps on Lulu and tries to strangle the older woman*  
  
Wakka: *cheers* Cat-fight! Cat-fight! Whoooo!  
  
Rikku: *smacks Wakka, who bursts into tears*  
  
Kimahri: *eyes Rikku* Good arm, my Al Bhed friend.  
  
Rikku: Kimahri, you're supposed to talk in the third person, aren't you?  
  
Kimahri: Oops...Kimahri think that good hitting? Ehee...  
  
Rikku: *ping* Wait, why am I realizing this?  
  
Lulu: *kicks Yuna away, gasping for air* It was *pant* all his fault! *gasp*  
  
Yuna: *pokes Tidus awake*  
  
Tidus: WHOWHATWHENWHEREANDMAYBETHEOCCASIONALHOW?! *sits bolt upright,  
his hair now crispy*  
  
Yuna: *glare* Alright, WHOSE fault WAS it, Tidus?  
  
Tidus: Well, erm... *twiddles his thumbs nervously* It, er....it was all...*spins and points* Kimahri's  
fault!  
  
Kimahri: Damn it! Er...Kimahri not know what Tidus talking about? uguu..  
  
Wakka: *stops crying* Kimahri, were you sharing around my little whirligig pills again?!  
  
Lulu: So you DO take them!  
  
Wakka: O-only in an e-e-e-emergency, Lulu my sweet! I swear!  
  
Lulu: Well, don't. There's kids around.  
  
*Suddenly, Tidra falls, kicking and screaming, from the ceiling and crash-lands on Lulu, knocking  
her out*  
  
Rikku: That can't be good for the baby. *sweatdrop*  
  
Tidus: *pats his hair* All my hard work...all gone... *promptly bursts into hysterical sobs* I spent  
three hours on my hair this morning!  
  
Tidra: You're worse of a crybaby than I am. *funky face*  
  
Yuna: And you admit it?  
  
Tidra: Er, forget that!!  
  
Yuna: *turns to Tidus* Tidus, darling...  
  
Tidus: o.o;;  
  
Yuna: *leans in and whispers in his ear* I'm pregnant too...and you're the father for sure.  
  
Tidus: *considers fainting, but jumps up and runs around the room* WAHOOO!  
  
Rikku: He's cracked.  
  
Kimahri: *sweatdrops*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Kimahri reveals a secret, Auron makes an appearance, and Tidus'  
hair DOESN'T catch on fire! 


	3. Auron's Bunny Slippers (or, Turn On The ...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy  
  
*Lulu, Wakka, Kimahri, Tidus, Yuna, Rikku, and Tidra are all seated around that exact same campfire from the first two omakes.*  
  
Kimahri: *looking around*   
  
Lulu: *muttering something in Al Bhed that Rikku is laughing her head off at*  
  
Tidra: *looks just as clueless as Tidus* Did I miss something?  
  
Tidus: Probably.  
  
Yuna: I wonder who's going to drop in today?  
  
Tidus: *assumes a defensive stance* They just better not set my hair on fire! I spent 2 hours on it this morning!  
  
Lulu: A hurry-up job, I see...draca baubma yna cilr eteudc...ruf uh ayndr tu fa cdyht dras, Rikku?  
  
Rikku: Tuh'd ycg sa! Hud y lmia tu E ryja.  
  
Lulu: *chuckles wryly* Hud y lmia rana aedran.  
  
Tidra: Okay, whatever you say.  
  
*Someone silently falls from the ceiling and crash-lands on Tidus...but knocks him backwards*  
  
Tidus: Yahoo, my hair is saved!  
  
Auron: I don't care about your hair...I think I just tore my robe.  
  
Yuna: Sir Auron!  
  
Auron: What do you want? I just fell twenty feet and landed on top of this idiot, I'm not in the best of moods.  
  
Yuna: Fine, I won't say hello then.  
  
Tidus: I are not an idiot!  
  
Rikku: "I are not"?   
  
Kimahri:   
  
Yuna: Kimahri, is there something you want to say? You look nervous.  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri not telling. Kimahri be laughed at.  
  
Tidus: We won't laugh...right guys?  
  
All: *nod vehemently*  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri like pink fluffy bunnies...  
  
Auron: YOU stole my bunny slippers!  
  
Yuna: Sir Auron...and...BUNNY slippers?!  
  
Tidra: *falls over laughing and her hair catches on fire*  
  
Tidus: Woohoo, it wasn't my hair this time!  
  
Tidra: *bursts into tears* My beautiful haaaaaaair!  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri only take them because they pink and fluffy!  
  
Lulu: Somehow I just can't connect Auron, pink and fluffy in the same sentence.  
  
Auron: *sticks out his feet...they have pink fluffy bunny slippers on them*  
  
Yuna: That's as bad as Tidus' heart-print boxers and Rikku's ducky pajamas!  
  
Rikku: Are you INSULTING my ducky pajamas?!  
  
Yuna: No...they're just very childish. Oh, wait a minute, you're only fifteen!  
  
Rikku: *sob*  
  
Tidus: You're THAT young?!  
  
Rikku: Shut up! *sobbing hysterically*  
  
Wakka: ...  
  
Auron: I'm the oldest! Ha!  
  
Lulu: Are you?  
  
Auron: I'm thirty-five, what do you think?  
  
Tidus: Old man!  
  
Auron: Ah, it's all so true! *starts crying his eyes out*  
  
All: ...  
  
Tidus: ...Auron?  
  
Auron: *cries like a little girl*  
  
Lulu: Oo;;;  
  
Rikku: He's even worse than Tidus...at least Tidus sounds like a mature person when he cries.  
  
Tidus: Woo hoo!  
  
Yuna: *smacks Tidus, who bursts into tears* You're right, Rikku...  
  
Tidus: Now that was no fair! *sob*  
  
Tidra: *comforts Tidus* Hush, love. They just get a thrill out of smacking you.  
  
Yuna: WHAT did you just call him?  
  
Tidra: *does that thing with her hand behind her head and looks embarrassed*  
  
Yuna: I thought not.  
  
Auron: *sob*  
  
Wakka: Why we got everyone cryin' here anyway?  
  
Rikku: Clueless...absolutely clueless.  
  
Wakka: *starts crying too* Am not!  
  
Rikku: Hm, tear-fest! *smacks everyone but Lulu and they all cry like children*  
  
Lulu: Must we?  
  
Rikku: Why not?  
  
Lulu: Oh, okay.  
  
*They smack each other and burst into hysterical sobs*  
  
Kimahri: *sob, sweatdrop*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Kimahri doesn't sweatdrop! 


	4. And The Writer Came To Be (or, It's A Mi...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy  
  
*Yuna, Lulu, Kimahri, Auron, Tidus, Tidra, and Rikku are all sitting around the canonical  
campfire that hasn't gone out through 3 omakes.*  
  
Auron: *keeps his feet tucked under him, looking grumpy*  
  
Tidra: *is leaning in close to the fire and trying to see her GBA screen*  
  
Rikku: *looks around, pushes Tidra over, and she falls sideways* Tysh ed!  
  
Tidra: Yay, my hair is safe!  
  
Yuna: *Z*  
  
Kimahri: *eyes Auron*  
  
Tidus: Where's Wakka?   
  
Lulu: Is that like Where's Waldo?  
  
Tidus: No, with that hair, Wakka's easy to spot.  
  
Lulu: You've got a point there.  
  
Tidus: Aw, Lu, you're not supposed to look!  
  
Yuna: Oo;;  
  
Auron: *unstrings the tokkuri, opens it, and drinks*  
  
Rikku: Gasp!  
  
Tidra: Gasp!   
  
Random stick figure: Gasp!  
  
Word on screen: gasp  
  
Kimahri: *steals the tokkuri* I steal your tokkuri!  
  
Writer: That's MY line!  
  
Kimahri: Sorry.  
  
Writer: *materializes as a girl who looks like Rikku, but with short brown hair, brown eyes, and  
glasses, and yoinks the tokkuri* I steal your tokkuri!  
  
Auron: Hey!  
  
Writer: Hay is for horses, try straw sometime. By the way, I'm Kiisu, also known as Sobakasu,  
but you can call me Amy.  
  
Tidra: ...Come again?  
  
Amy: I said, my name is Amy.  
  
Tidra: Oh.  
  
Amy: *takes a long gulp from the tokkuri* Refreshing.  
  
Auron: ...  
  
Amy: Ah, chill out, Auron. I'm gonna give it back.  
  
Tidra: *voice drops to a spooky whisper* She knows our names...  
  
Amy: Well duh, I wrote you into here.  
  
Tidus: You mean, if you decide to write one of us out...  
  
Amy: That's what I did with Wakka, cause he's annoying. *takes another long gulp*  
  
Tidus: Oh.  
  
Auron: *steals the tokkuri back while Amy is in mid-gulp, splashing sake all over her*  
  
Amy: ...*pulls out an exact replica of Auron's sword*  
  
Tidus: Run, Auron! Run!  
  
Amy: *lowers sword* That reminds me WAY too much of Forrest Gump...  
  
All: What's that?  
  
Amy: *sweatdrop* A movie.  
  
Auron: *puts tokkuri back on bead string*  
  
Amy: Watch this. *spins around really fast, gets everyone else dizzy, and when she stops spinning  
she looks like a miniature female Auron*  
  
Tidus: ?!  
  
Kimahri: *confused*  
  
Yuna: *applauds frantically* Bravo! Encore!  
  
Amy: Thank you, thank you, I'm here whenever I feel like it.  
  
Auron: *eyes the miniature tokkuri at Amy's side*  
  
Amy: Oh no you don't, bub. *unstrings it and takes a good long drink* You wouldn't want  
what's in here.  
  
Auron: *snatches the tokkuri and takes a sip of whatever's inside, then drops it and splutters*  
  
Amy: Told you. *retrieves tokkuri, drinks*  
  
Auron: What the hell is in there?!  
  
Amy: *leans closer to Auron and whispers*  
  
Auron: O_O;;;;;  
  
Tidus: ?  
  
Kimahri: *suddenly disappears*  
  
Amy: *holds notepad and pencil in hand* The Ronso was getting boring.   
  
Lulu: That was interesting.  
  
Amy: Don't MAKE me write that campfire out so you freeze your top half off, Lulu.  
  
Lulu: *sweatdrops*  
  
Seymour: *appears out of fooking nowhere* Hehehe!  
  
Amy: Oh, put a sock in it.  
  
*A sock appears in Seymour's mouth*  
  
Lulu: *falls over laughing and singes her dress*  
  
Seymour: Mmph, mrph mmh.   
  
Amy: Shut up or I'll write you out.  
  
Seymour: *shuts up*  
  
Lulu: *sits up, holding her dress up* I think the fire burned through the laces.  
  
Amy: Good thing I wrote Wakka out.   
  
Lulu: Yes, VERY good thing. Can you write my dress back together?  
  
Amy: *writes something on the notepad, and Lulu's dress is fixed*  
  
Lulu: Thanks.  
  
Amy: Hey...if I wrote Kimahri out, who is gonna sweatdrop at the end of this omake?  
  
Tidra: This is an omake?  
  
Amy: Kyaa...forget it.  
  
Auron: *sweatdrop*  
  
Seymour: *spits out the sock* Blah.   
  
*A random stick figure person (RSTP)'s head pops off*  
  
Amy: Seymour, you idiot.  
  
Seymour: All I said was blah.  
  
*Another RSTP's head pops off*  
  
Amy: Oh, forget it. Just don't say the zeeky words.   
  
Tidra: What, zeeky boogy d *has a hand slapped across her mouth, covering it*  
  
Amy: I said don't say them.  
  
Seymour: Zeeky boogy doog! *explodes*  
  
Amy: Eww...*writes out the scattered Seymour bits*  
  
Tidus: *runs off and the sound of vomiting can be heard*  
  
Auron: *sweatdrop again*  
  
Amy: Let's end this...on three. One...  
  
Lulu: Two...  
  
Rikku: Three!  
  
*All sweatdrop*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Seymour makes a comeback and Auron takes off that robe! 


	5. Seymour Makes His Comeback (or, Auron Ge...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy  
  
*Yuna, Lulu, Auron, Tidus, Tidra, Rikku and the newly introduced writer, Amy, who still looks  
like a miniature female Auron, are all sitting around that same old campfire and debating whether  
this is a run-on sentence.*  
  
Amy: *fiddles with her notepad, the pencil tucked behind her ear*  
  
Lulu: *asleep while sitting up* *Z*  
  
Amy: Why is it at least one person is always asleep? Oh yeah...I wrote it that way... *sweatdrops,  
opens tokkuri and drinks*  
  
Auron: *still has his feet tucked under him*  
  
Amy: Hmm... *writes something on the notepad* Auron, aren't your feet falling asleep?  
  
Auron: ...Yes...   
  
Amy: *smiles sweetly* I wrote out the slippers...  
  
Auron: Oh. *pokes his feet out...and they have froggy slippers on them* What the fook?!  
  
Amy: But I wrote those in. ^_^  
  
Yuna: *laughs*  
  
Tidus: *confers with Tidra in whispers*  
  
Rikku: I'm hungry...  
  
Auron: And I'm hot...  
  
Amy: Yes, you are. *clamps hand over mouth, then removes it* Did I just say that?  
  
Rikku: Yep.  
  
Amy: Tysh ed...  
  
Rikku: Whoa, you speak Al Bhed?  
  
Amy: *nods* Dryd'c ruf E lyh syga oui cbayg ed. Uv luinca, ed'c ymm tuha fedr y dnyhcmydun.  
*sweatdrop*  
  
Auron: ANYway...back to the subject...  
  
Amy: I'm not going there. *folds her arms and sets her jaw, looking stern*  
  
Auron: I didn't mean THAT way, anyway. *starts taking off his robe*  
  
Yuna, Rikku, Tidra, Amy, Lulu (who has woken up): *lean closer in expectation*  
  
Auron: *rolls his eyes and throws the robe aside*  
  
Amy: *staring*  
  
Rikku: *waves hand in front of Amy's face* Yoo-hoo...writer...? Aw, she's hopeless.  
  
Auron: *actually blushes*  
  
Tidra: Oo-oo, Auron's bluuuushing...  
  
Yuna: How cuuuuuuute...  
  
Lulu: *gag*  
  
Rikku: *grabs Amy's notepad and writes on it*  
  
*Someone falls in, crash-landing on Tidra*  
  
Tidra: Owie!  
  
Seymour: You're telling me... *gets up, pats his hair*  
  
Amy: Huhwha? *snaps out of it* HEY, my notepad!  
  
Rikku: *hands it over* Ehee.  
  
Amy: Rikku, did you write Seymour in?  
  
Rikku: ACTUALLY...I was trying to write him out for the whole series...  
  
Amy: And now you wrote him back in. Greeeeeeat.  
  
Tidus: Grat?  
  
Amy: No, great.  
  
Auron: *takes off the frog slippers and throws them aside*  
  
Lulu: *catches them*  
  
  
Seymour: My froggy slippers!  
  
Amy: Auron's froggy slippers now. *smirk*  
  
Seymour: Uhm...  
  
Amy: And if you even THINK about summoning Anima, I have Yojimbo.  
  
Seymour: Aww.  
  
Amy: AND the Magus Sisters.  
  
Seymour: Well, nutbunnies.  
  
*A random person appears in the middle of the room*  
  
Random Person: Zeeky boogy d-- *has hands clamped across his mouth from every direction and  
disappears*  
  
Seymour: Uhm...all your base are belong to us?  
  
Amy: Somebody set up us the bomb. *grin*  
  
Rikku: You have no chance to survive make your time!  
  
Lulu, Yuna, Auron, Tidus, Tidra: We are NOT in this.  
  
Amy: Oh, yes you are, Auron-sama.   
  
Auron: *sweatdrop* Err...you are on the way to destruction?  
  
Amy: That's the spirit!  
  
Rikku: You can do it!  
  
Auron: *glances at Amy's notepad* Weird...I have this sudden urge to kiss the writer.  
  
Amy: I didn't write it. I swear. Even if I would like to...err. *whistles*  
  
Auron: It happens. *grabs Amy and kisses her, to everyone's complete astonishment*  
  
Lulu: !  
  
Tidus: !  
  
Tidra: !  
  
Rikku: !  
  
Yuna: *passes out*  
  
Seymour: Aww, nutbunnies.  
  
Amy: *runs around, squealing* I got kissed by Auron! I GOT KISSED BY AURON! YAY!  
*other assorted happy things that all mean the above thing*  
  
Auron: *stands there blushing as he realizes what he just did*  
  
Rikku: ...*starts crying*  
  
Tidra: Oh, not the waterworks again.  
  
Rikku: But I wanted him to kiss ME! *blubber*  
  
Tidus: Here's a joke. Tidra, you gonna help me?  
  
Tidra: But that's private...OH, with the joke. Yeah... ^_^;  
  
Tidus: The Eskimos used to eat whale meat and blubber...  
  
Tidra: If I had to eat whale meat I'd blubber too.  
  
*they both start laughing*  
  
Amy: *sobers up* What teh fook?  
  
Rikku: *stops crying* That was just dumb, guys.  
  
Tidra: But it got you to shut up.  
  
Rikku: ...  
  
Amy: They have a point. *returns to running around and squealing*  
  
Tidus: She doesn't...  
  
Tidra: *whap*  
  
Tidus: Ow!  
  
Amy: *pauses in running and squealing* Ehee. *resumes*  
  
Auron: *idly trips Amy, then catches her innocently*  
  
Rikku: ªª_ªª  
  
Amy: *looks up at him* Hello.  
  
Auron: *picks her up and walks off elsewhere*  
  
Rikku: *bursts into tears again* Wah!  
  
Yuna: *pats Rikku on the head* There, there. It's okay.  
  
Rikku: But, but, I thought the writer had plans for an Aurikku!  
  
Amy: *from elsewhere* I changed it, get over it.  
  
Rikku: Aw.  
  
Seymour: Well, what do you call this new type of pairing?  
  
Amy: *again from elsewhere* Very fun.  
  
Seymour: Oh.  
  
Auron: *from elsewhere* Oooh...  
  
Rikku: ?!  
  
Amy: *still from elsewhere* I gotta agree with you on that one...hm, how about this?  
  
Rikku: That does it! *gets up* I'm going to crash their party! *stalks off elsewhere, pulls back the  
curtain, and...*  
  
*elsewhere*  
  
Amy: If you wanted some cheese, Rikku, you could have said so. *points to the large selection of  
cheeses spread out on a blanket*  
  
Rikku: *facefault*  
  
Auron: What about this Swiss? It seems quite delicious.  
  
Amy: I prefer the sharp cheddar, myself, but to each their own. Ooh...Brie...*grabs a hunk*  
  
Rikku: *sits down* Got any Gouda?  
  
Amy: Right there, at the far left. *point*  
  
Rikku: Thanks. *gets some*  
  
*not elsewhere*  
  
Yuna: What the heck are those three doing? I haven't heard a single sound since Rikku went over  
there.  
  
Lulu: Let's go check!  
  
Seymour: I hope they have cheese. I love cheese.  
  
Tidus: Now why would they have cheese?  
  
*All get up, walk over, pull back curtain...*  
  
Seymour: CHEESE~! *dives at the blanket*  
  
Amy, Auron, Rikku: Aah! *take cover*  
  
Lulu: *sweatdrop*  
  
Amy: Okay, shall we end this? *writes something on her notepad*  
  
Lulu: The end?  
  
Kimahri: *appears, sweatdrops*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Other authors make appearances!   
  
Explanatory.  
This omake makes use of cheese, as you have seen. Now, the reason the cheese is here is not to  
confuse you...oh no. The cheese is here so that Amy and Auron would have something to do  
other than...well...the alternative, because none of my omakes are ever gonna be rated NC-17.  
See, cheese...ah, the power of cheese is compelling, as you have seen. Seymour cannot resist it.  
Hell, NO one can resist it. So I'll shut up and eat my cheese now... *munch*  
~~Sobakasu aka Kiisu~~ 


	6. Lulu Put The Campfire Out Of Its Misery ...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy  
  
*Lulu, Rikku, Tidus, Yuna, Seymour, Tidra, Auron and Amy the writer are sitting around a  
DIFFERENT campfire, since Lulu got bored with the old one and cast Waterga on its remains.*  
  
Amy: I miss the old campfire. *looks morose*  
  
Lulu: It was dying. It was better to let it die quickly than to fizzle out slowly, blah, blah, blah... *is  
stifled by Yuna*  
  
Amy: But, but, Lulu...it was canonical!  
  
Rikku: What she said! *eats a hunk of cheese*  
  
Auron: *sleeps sitting up*  
  
Tidus and Tidra: *confer about how old a piece of Sinspawn is, and if they can eat it*  
  
Yuna: Ugh, you two! That Sinspawn is from the first omake!  
  
Tidus and Tidra: Omake? *each stuff a hunk of Sinspawn into their mouths*  
  
Yuna: Never mind. *sweatdrops*  
  
Lulu: Hey writer, I got a bone to pick with you...  
  
Amy: About the pregnancy, right?  
  
Lulu: Uh, yes.  
  
Seymour: *spooky tone* It's the all-knowing...all-seeing...writer!  
  
Amy: I wrote it out. Was getting kind of boring.  
  
Tidus: *with mouth full* Hey...then how come Yuna's still fat?  
  
Yuna: FAT?! I'm gonna KILL you! When I can get up.  
  
Amy: I didn't say I wrote hers out.  
  
Yuna: So I have to have a baby?  
  
Amy: It's in the script. *brandishes a copy of the script and hopes no one notices she carefully  
penciled it in*  
  
Yuna: To carry on Braska's legacy, right? Dirty old man...  
  
Rikku: Gasp!  
  
Ghost of Braska: *appears* Damn straight. *fades out*  
  
Tidus: Oo;  
  
Tidra: My arms are cold.  
  
Seymour: Want me to warm them up?  
  
Amy: *scribbles frantically on her notepad* I thought...oh, there it is...okay!  
  
*someone falls in with an "Eeeeeeee!" of happiness and lands on Auron, promptly proceeding to  
smother him in huggles*  
  
Amy: Spaz! ^_^  
  
SpazKit: Kiisu! ^_^  
  
Auron: Ack! Oo;  
  
Amy: Everyone, this is Spaz, another writer and loyal Auronite.  
  
Auron: I have a CULT?  
  
Spaz: Lots of 'em! And lots of Auron cults makes me a happy Spaz.  
  
Amy: And me a happy Kiisu!  
  
Rikku, Seymour, Tidus, Tidra, Lulu, Yuna: Uh...yeah. Okay.  
  
Amy and SpazKit: Whaaat?  
  
Seymour: *eyes Amy's notepad* What's a Sekku?  
  
Amy: AACK, keep your prying eyes off my notepad!  
  
Lulu: This omake is boring...  
  
Tidus and Tidra: Omake?  
  
Lulu: Never mind. *sweatdrop*  
  
Amy: Yes, is boring. Shall we end it?  
  
Seymour: No! Wait! *grabs Rikku, kisses her*  
  
Rikku: !  
  
Kimahri: *appears, sweatdrops*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: A sample of the writer's Sekku (SeymourxRikku) fic and a squirrel!  
(not really) 


	7. A Puzzling Revelation (or, Let's Confuse...

A Kiisu Omake: Unfinal Fantasy  
  
*Lulu, Rikku, Tidus, Yuna, Seymour, Tidra, Auron and Amy the writer, now plus SpazKit, are  
sitting around the new campfire, and pondering Amy's threat that if anyone touches it they will die.*  
  
Amy: Hey, Seymour. You wanted to know what a Sekku is, right?  
  
Seymour: Yeah, it's been bugging me all night...wait, do we even have night here? Or day?  
  
Amy: No, it's just a meaningless, formless existence that was caused by the 4th Wall.  
  
Seymour: So, what's a Sekku?  
  
Amy: Well, listen to this. "Seymour never tore his blue eyes away from Rikku's green ones, a smile  
curving the edges of his thin lips. 'Anything, Rikku?' he asked, his voice soft and kind."  
  
Seymour: ...  
  
Rikku: ...  
  
Yuna: I know where this is go-ing, I know where *stifled*  
  
Lulu: As do I, but I won't say ANYTHING.  
  
Spaz: *sleeps sitting up, as is required*  
  
Amy: Anyway, I had two new people to bring in today.   
  
Tidus: People!  
  
Tidra: Food?  
  
Amy: Oh...if you insist... -_-;  
  
Tidus and Tidra: FOOD!  
  
Auron: *is also asleep sitting up*  
  
Amy: Introducing...  
  
*Two people fall from nowhere. One lands on Amy, and one lands on Seymour*  
  
Amy: Oof! *gasp* Hi...Risu...Kaa...x_x  
  
Risu: *gets up* Sorry for landing on you. ^.^;;  
  
Kachi: *looks kind of star-struck*  
  
Seymour: I think I have a fan. Oo;  
  
Amy: Guys, this is Risu and Kachi, otherwise known as Kaa or Kchi.  
  
Kachi: Yeah, just like you're known as Ksu or Kii. :3  
  
Amy: That's beside the point. *pencils something in on her notepad and a giant block of beef jerky  
falls in, narrowly missing Tidus and Tidra*  
  
Tidus and Tidra: FOOD! *pounce on it and have it gone in exactly seven minutes and forty  
seconds*  
  
Risu: Oo;  
  
Amy: We gotta get more people in here!   
  
*Someone else falls in and lands on Risu*  
  
Amy: Karasu! There you are. ^^  
  
Kara: Yes, here I am! And I...seem to be...on top of Risu...*grin*  
  
Risu: *blushes*  
  
Amy: Everyone, meet Kara.  
  
Kara: Hi, everyone. ^_^  
  
*Someone ELSE walks in, preferring not to fall*  
  
Amy: Aaaaand here's Sara! Everyone, meet Sara, she's a crazy writer type just like me and Kaa and  
Karasu and Spaz and...*is stifled by Seymour's hand across her mouth, but is obviously grinning*  
  
Sara: Hey, guys. I've heard a lot about you.  
  
Kara, Kachi and Risu: Us too! But all good stuff, promise.  
  
Kara: Well, except for Tidus and Tidra's eating constantly.  
  
Kachi: And Yuna trying to kill Lulu.  
  
Risu: And Seymour's tendency to say the zeeky words.  
  
Seymour: Zeeky boogy d -   
  
Rikku: *kisses him to shut him up*  
  
Seymour: *blushes cutely*  
  
Sara: And Lulu's casting Waterga on the old campfire.  
  
Lulu: IT WAS DYING!  
  
Yuna: Oh, shut up.  
  
Lulu: Did you just tell me to shut up?  
  
Yuna: Yep.  
  
Lulu: Oh. Well...okay.  
  
Risu: *sits down next to Lulu*  
  
Kachi: *takes a seat between Amy and Spaz*  
  
Kara: *takes a seat between Amy and Yuna*  
  
Sara: *sits down across from Seymour*  
  
Amy: This is like one of those riddles. "If so-and-so sat by so-and-so, and so-and-so was across from  
so-and-so and next to so-and-so, where were so-and-so and so-and-so sitting?"  
  
Rikku: Who's so-and-so?  
  
Amy: ...Never mind. -_-;  
  
Sara: Well, let's help our readers piece together the puzzle!  
  
Kara: Yeah!  
  
Lulu: I'll write the riddle out!  
  
Yuna: I'll dictate it!  
  
Amy: My place is number 1, directly at the top of the campfire circle from a bird's-eye view!  
  
Lulu: How many of us are there?  
  
Seymour: *counts* Wow, we're unlucky! There's thirteen of us.  
  
Yuna: Pretend this is the campfire. *draws a circle on the ground with a piece of chalk* Amy's spot  
is right up here. *draws a star at the very top of the circle* That's position one.  
  
Lulu: *scribbles this down frantically*  
  
Yuna: Position thirteen is right here. *marks a star to the left of position one* Kara is sitting there.  
This is position two *marks a star to the right of position one* and Kachi is there.   
  
Lulu: *scribble*  
  
Seymour: *takes the chalk* Spaz is here, at position three. *marks the spot to the right of position  
two* And Yuna is at position twelve. *marks the spot to the left of position thirteen*  
  
Lulu: *scribble more*  
  
Amy: *yoinks the piece of chalk* And right here, at position seven, is Sara. *marks the spot right  
across the campfire circle from position one*  
  
Kara: *reaches for the chalk* Seymour, Auron, Tidus, Tidra, Risu, Lulu and Rikku's spots are  
unknown. Let's give clues for them.  
  
Lulu: Here, let me. *starts writing, then reads off the first clue* Seymour is three positions away  
from Kara.  
  
Kachi: But it doesn't say in which direction!  
  
Lulu: It isn't supposed to...it makes the riddle that much harder.   
  
Kachi: Oh, right.  
  
Lulu: *write, read* I am six positions away from position twelve.   
  
Amy: *marks the rest of the positions, but writes names on the known ones*  
  
Lulu: *same old* Auron is between two girls on the right side of the circle.  
  
Seymour: Lucky!  
  
Lulu: Risu is two positions away from Auron, and ALSO between two girls.  
  
Risu: ^.^  
  
Tidus: Me, Tidra and Rikku are left.  
  
Lulu: Rikku's between a guy and a girl.  
  
Rikku: Oo;  
  
Lulu: Last of all, Tidus and Tidra are on the bottom right of the circle. Tidus is between Tidra and  
an unknown guy.  
  
Amy: Can we even figure it out?  
  
Lulu: Uh-huh. Using the clues for Seymour and me. It's simple trial and error.  
  
Amy: Let me try it now. *makes the rest of the crowd invisible, but still audible*  
  
Yuna: Eek!  
  
Amy: Ok. We have our knowns. *thinks back over the clues* Seymour is three positions away from  
Yuna...we don't know the exact but Spaz is in position three.  
  
Yuna: Uh-huh, and?  
  
Amy: Tidra has to be on Tidus' right.   
  
Tidra: I'm not telling.  
  
Amy: Lulu is six positions away from position twelve. Going left or right she's in a free space.  
  
Lulu: You won't know where I am till you solve the puzzle.  
  
Amy: Rikku is between a guy and a girl. There's only one position like that left.  
  
Rikku: You will never find my position! Muaha!  
  
Amy: Auron is between two girls on the circle's right side. That can put him in either one of two  
positions remaining on the right.  
  
Auron: *Z*  
  
Amy: Risu is ALSO between two girls. The only place that happens is, again, on the right side.  
  
Risu: Heh.  
  
Amy: Auron and Risu are the uncertain ones...can we get another clue?  
  
Lulu: Okay. Auron is NOT by Sara.  
  
Amy: I have it! *marks it* Am I correct? *makes everyone visible, revealing that she is* I did it!  
  
Lulu: Nice detective work, writer.  
  
Kara: We thought you'd never get it.  
  
Kachi: That was some good plotting.  
  
Amy: Woohoo!  
  
Risu: I was falling asleep while you were solving it, you took so long.  
  
Amy: Long? I only took *checks watch* dear Yevon, ten minutes?  
  
Risu: That was only ten?  
  
Lulu: Yup.  
  
Amy: We all need sleep. Let's end this.  
  
Kimahri: *appears, sweatdrops*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: The solution to the puzzle, if you didn't get it this time around! 


	8. The Puzzle Solved (or, Let's Un-confuse ...

Unfinal Fantasy: A Kiisu Omake  
  
*Lulu, Rikku, Tidus, Yuna, Seymour, Tidra, Auron, Amy the writer, SpazKit, Risu, Kachi, Kara,  
and Sara are sitting around the new campfire, and being happy that the puzzle's solved.*  
  
Amy: You know, you guys don't know how I solved the puzzle, do you?  
  
Lulu: Nope, we're just happy you did.  
  
Amy: Right, well, wanna hear how I did it?  
  
Risu: This will take hours.  
  
Kachi: Sod off. :3  
  
Kara: *giggles*   
  
Lulu: Yes.  
  
Yuna: Okay.  
  
Auron: *Z*  
  
Spaz: Yeah, let's!  
  
Tidus and Tidra: *are eating AGAIN*  
  
Seymour: That would be nifty.  
  
Rikku: I wanna hear!  
  
Amy: Well, I started with Seymour's clue. Three positions from Kara would have been three from  
position thirteen. Going right, you end up at position three, which is taken. What does that leave?  
Seymour must have been in position ten.  
  
Seymour: And I still am.  
  
Amy: Lulu's clue was harder. Six positions away from position twelve. Going left you end up at  
position six, which is free, but going right takes you to position five, which is also free. I marked her  
as a maybe for those two positions.  
  
Lulu: Which was a smart move.  
  
Amy: Auron was between two females at the right side. For this I also looked at the last clue, which  
stated he was NOT by Sara. Spaz was a known female on the right, so I put Auron as a maybe for  
position four.  
  
Auron: Which was right. And still is.  
  
Amy: Risu was two positions away from Auron and ALSO between two females. Since Auron  
wasn't by Sara, then Risu must have been. I marked him down there, and that made Auron's  
position - four - a given as well. That solved Lulu's, position five.  
  
Risu: That was a good move, actually.  
  
Amy: Rikku was between a male and a female. I left this one for after I solved the Tidus and Tidra  
clues.  
  
Rikku: I'm not important? *tears up*  
  
Amy: Tidus was at the bottom right, between Tidra and an unknown male. The only male near the  
bottom right was Seymour, so Tidus must have been in position nine. That solved Tidra's as well,  
putting her in position eight.  
  
Tidus and Tidra: *too busy eating to talk*  
  
Amy: Now back to Rikku's clue. The only spot left for her to be between a male and a female was  
between Yuna and Seymour - position eleven.  
  
Rikku: Oho!  
  
Lulu: Nice.  
  
Amy: Now to list everyone. I am at position one, Kachi is at position two, Spaz is at position three,  
Auron is at position four, Lulu is at position five, Risu is at position six, Sara is at position seven,  
Tidra is at position eight, Tidus is at position nine, Seymour is at position ten, Rikku is at position  
eleven, Yuna is at position twelve, and Kara is at position thirteen.  
  
Kara: Right the whole way through!  
  
Yuna: Amazing.  
  
Seymour: Can we play with the bunny now?  
  
Rikku: No, it's peanut butter jelly time!  
  
Sara: Peanut butter jelly time?  
  
Rikku: Peanut butter jelly time!  
  
Risu: Where ya at, where ya at, where ya at, where ya at!  
  
Kachi: Now there ya go, there ya go, there ya go, there ya go!  
  
Tidus and Tidra: Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly!  
  
Amy: The peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!  
  
Kara: Now freestyle! Freestyle! Freestyle! Freestyle! Freestyle! Freestyle - uh!  
  
Lulu: I'm surrounded by idiots.  
  
Yuna: I'm fat! *sobs*  
  
Tidus: Shutting up. Really.  
  
Tidra: Ya better.  
  
Rikku: But it's PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!  
  
Amy: Here's your baseball bat.  
  
PBJ Sandwich: Gee, thanks!  
  
All but Amy: OO;;;  
  
Amy: It's peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat. ^-^  
  
Seymour: Argh.  
  
*the sandwich walks off*  
  
Tidra: That food just walked away...I think I'm hallucinating. Must have been the Dark Flan I ate.  
  
Tidus: You ate a Dark Flan?  
  
Tidra: Yep.  
  
Tidus: You didn't leave any for me! *wail*  
  
Tidra: I was STARVING!  
  
Amy: Tidra, my friend, the 4th Wall clearly dictates that food can walk away any time it wants to in  
this reality.  
  
Tidra: Oh, the 4th Wall must have eaten some Dark Flan then.  
  
4th Wall: No, I ate Mushroom Rock.   
  
Amy: MUSHROOM Rock... *snickers*  
  
4th Wall: See, SHE'S got it.  
  
Tidus: Okay then.  
  
4th Wall: Don't make me eat your name, like I did Wakka's. I ate his K's.  
  
Amy: You ate Wakka's K's? But that would make him... *starts laughing*  
  
Sara: *bursts out laughing and squeals* That would make him WAA! *laughs hysterically*  
  
Rikku: Waa? *giggles*  
  
Lulu: I'm dating a guy named Waa? XD  
  
4th Wall: *eats Lulu's L's*  
  
Uu: Oo; Now this is strange.  
  
Amy: Eat Sara's R!  
  
4th Wall: *does*  
  
Saa: Ack!  
  
Riu: It ate my K's too!  
  
Tius and Tira: And our D's!  
  
Auro: And my N! *cries*  
  
Spz: It just ate my A. I can live with that. I'm a bug sound now.  
  
Seymou: It ate my R. I feel so French.  
  
Rsu: It ate my I!  
  
Kchi: And my A! Now I am a sneeze! And so are you, Rsu.   
  
Kra: It ate one of my A's. :b  
  
Amy: *changes into her alter ego Ksu* Now I'm a sneeze!  
  
Kchi: Hai. :3  
  
Ksu: Kra, you sound like a war cry, ya know. "Kra!"  
  
Yun: I sound male!  
  
Uu: I sound like a freakin' exclamation!  
  
Kchi, Ksu, Rsu: Well, we sound like three freakin' sneezes!  
  
Spz: I'm a bug sound now! Spzzzzzzzz...  
  
Kra: I'm a war cry!  
  
Seymou: I'm French!  
  
Tius and Tira: We sound like different kinds of car tires or something!  
  
Auro: I sound like a damned plane.  
  
Saa: Well, I sound like a tool!  
  
Riu: I sound like half of a river!  
  
4th Wall: You all sound like idiots. *shuts up now*  
  
Seymou: Do I look foreign to you, Yun?  
  
Yun: No, Seymou. You look like an albino Guado.  
  
Kra: Ksu, Kchi, Rsu, you guys don't LOOK like sneezes to me...  
  
Ksu: Well, you don't look like a war cry.  
  
Auro: Thank goodness I don't LOOK like a plane. Right, Uu?  
  
Uu: Correct. Neither does Riu look like a river.   
  
Saa: I don't look like a saw, do I, Spz?  
  
Spz: Nope, Saa, and I don't look like a buzz.  
  
Tius: Tira, do I look like a tire?  
  
Tira: No, do I?  
  
Tius: Nope.  
  
Ksu: This is getting fun, let me bring in the others.  
  
*Waa and Kmahr appear*  
  
Kmahr: This weird plot development.  
  
Waa: I sound like a frickin' sob!  
  
Uu: You are a sob, Waa.  
  
Kmahr: Kmahr want his I's.  
  
Yun: But Kmahr, they're right there in your head.  
  
Kmahr: Ha.  
  
Uu: I've always wanted to be an exclamation and make out with a sob. * makes out with Waa*  
  
Tius: What if two tires made out?  
  
Tira: Let's find out. *makes out with Tius*  
  
Seymou: Yun?  
  
Ksu: Not a chance in hell, Seymou. Come here.  
  
Seymou: Ooh, I get to make out with the writer! *does exactly that*  
  
Yun: *makes out with Auro*  
  
Riu: *makes out with Rsu*  
  
Kchi: Kra?  
  
Kra: Exactly what I was thinking. *makes out with Kchi*  
  
Saa: Me, Spz and Kmahr are left. Hey, you guys, wanna all make out together?  
  
Kmahr and Spz: Okay!  
  
*But before they do, Kmahr sweatdrops.*   
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: The 4th Wall puts letters back...in ALL the wrong places!...and Waa  
and Kmahr - er, sorry, Wakka and Kimahri return...for good? We'll see. 


	9. More From The 4th Wall (or, Dark Flan Ha...

Unfinal Fantasy: A Kiisu Omake  
  
*Uu, Waa, Ksu, Rsu, Kchi, Kra, Seymou, Yun, Kmahr, Auro, Riu, Saa, Tius, Tira and Spz are all sitting around the new campfire and bemoaning the loss of important letters in their names.*  
  
Waa: I sound like a sob... *sniffles*  
  
Spz: *attaches fake bee-wings to her back*  
  
Seymou: Does this outfit look more French to you?  
  
Yun: Seymou, you look like an idiot.  
  
Seymou: Then that's a yes?  
  
Yun: Uh-huh.  
  
Auro: *is curiously quiet*  
  
Ksu: *is asleep on Rsu, since it's four-thirty A.M. while she's doing this*  
  
Kchi: *is also asleep, but flat on her back*  
  
Kra: *is asleep on Ksu's foot*  
  
Kmahr: *is eyeing his spear and muttering about the 4th Wall*  
  
Riu: *is eating*  
  
Saa: *is asleep on Tira's leg*  
  
Tius: *isn't eating*  
  
Spz: Has anyone seen my stinger?  
  
4th Wall: I'm back.  
  
Tius: Can we have our letters back?  
  
4th Wall: Yep, I'm in a generous mood.  
  
*A bright flash*  
  
Tiuds: That's better...HEY! What did ya do?!  
  
Tirad: I sound weird!  
  
Serymou: I'm still French!  
  
Spza: Now I'm not a bee, I'm a magic trick!  
  
Sraa: *wakes up* I sound angry.  
  
Ksu: *wakes up* I stay the sa-ame.  
  
Rsui: *wakes up* Now I sound Japanese again!  
  
Kchia: *wakes up* Why do I sound like I should have leaves growing out of my head? Or a really stupid sneeze?  
  
4th Wall: I can arrange that leaves thing.  
  
Kchia: NO!  
  
4th Wall: Well, I don't make sneezes grow from people's heads.  
  
Kraa: *wakes up* Still a war cry!  
  
Yuan: Now I'm a monetary unit?  
  
Aunro: ...  
  
Kmaiihr: Well, at least Kmaiihr have I's back.  
  
Wakak: Wakak? I sound like a disease now!  
  
Kriuk: You think you're bad? Look at me! Kriuk! I sound like a mangled creek!  
  
Spza: *squeaks* Introducing the great Spza Kit!  
  
Ksu: Sounds like a weird weight-loss program to me.  
  
Sin: *appears* I'm too fat to play blitzball!  
  
Spza: Then try my revolutionary new Spza Kit! Banishes the excess pounds and makes you a lean mean exercise machine!  
  
Sin: Gee, thanks! *falls on Serymou, squishes him, and vanishes*  
  
Serymou: He was supposed to fall on Bevelle...ouch...  
  
4th Wall: Want your names back?  
  
All: YES!  
  
4th Wall: I'm not in that generous a mood, rearrange them yourselves.  
  
Kchia: Fine, we will! *takes her A and puts it where it belongs* I'm Kachi again!  
  
Kraa: But I like being a war cry... *puts her R between the A's*  
  
Rsui: I sound kinda cute. *smacks the I into place* I hate being cute.  
  
Serymou: But, but, I'm French!  
  
Luul: *rearranges her last U and then fixes Seymour's name*  
  
Spza: *switches A and Z*  
  
Sraa: *switches A and R*  
  
Wakak: *puts his K where it belongs*  
  
Kriuk: *removes her two K's and puts them before her U*  
  
Ksu: I stay the sa-ame.  
  
Yuan: *switches A and N*  
  
Aunro: *gladly puts the N at the end of his name*  
  
Kmaiihr: *stuffs the I's into their rightful slots*  
  
Tiuds: *switches D and U*  
  
Tirad: *puts the D before the R*  
  
Auron: I'm normal again! Praise Yenov!  
  
Ksu: Uh-oh. 4th Wall...?  
  
4th Wall: Yenov is so much funnier.  
  
Ksu: Fix. It. NOW.  
  
4th Wall: Ok! Geesh! Fixed!  
  
Spaz: Praise Yevon.  
  
Lulu: I feel better.  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri feel better too.  
  
Wakka: Yeah, I'm not a sob OR a disease!  
  
Tidus and Tidra: *eat*  
  
Rikku: I can be me again!  
  
Yuna: I'm not a man or a monetary unit!  
  
Kachi: I'm not a Chia-pet!  
  
Kara: But I liked being a war cry.  
  
Risu: I'm less cute!  
  
Seymour: I'm not French anymore! ;;  
  
Sara: I don't sound all satanic anymore.  
  
Ksu: I remain as I am. ^_^  
  
4th Wall: Can I make it Yoven instead?  
  
All: NO.  
  
4th Wall: *shuts up, grumpy*  
  
Spaz: But I was a good magic act...and weight-loss kit.  
  
Ksu: Can we end this? I need to get some sleep, it's five A.M.  
  
Kimahri: *sweatdrops*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Ksu will be rested up and ready for fun! 


	10. Have Your Cake And Eat It Too (or, The C...

Unfinal Fantasy: A Kiisu Omake  
  
*Lulu, Wakka, the writer formerly known as Ksu who is now back to being Amy, Risu, Kachi,  
Kara, Seymour, Yuna, Kimahri, Auron, Rikku, Sara, Tidus, Tidra and Spaz are all sitting around  
the new campfire and being happy that their names are back...well, SOME of them.*  
  
Seymour: *is busy complaining that he doesn't sound French any more*  
  
Yuna: *is just about ready to smack him*  
  
Amy: *twitches slightly*  
  
Rikku: *eyes Kimahri's spear, then eyes Seymour, then the spear, then Seymour...etcetera.*  
  
Kimahri: *does the same*  
  
Kara: *takes out a large hunk of cheese*  
  
Seymour: *stops in the middle of his sentence* Cheese...  
  
Amy: Uh-oh. Kara, put the cheese down and get out of the way, fast.  
  
Kara: Uh...okay. *puts the cheese down and gets out of the way, fast.*  
  
Seymour: Yay! *pounces on the cheese*  
  
Kachi: Oo;  
  
Kara: Thanks for the warning. O.o;;  
  
Risu: *Z*  
  
Rikku: Are we starting the whole cheese storyline up again?  
  
Amy: Why not? *writes something on her notepad, and a huge selection of cheeses appears*  
  
Auron: Here we go again.   
  
Seymour: CHEESE! *dives at the pile*  
  
Kachi: *grabs some cheddar before he can hit*  
  
Amy: Ah-ah...*grabs his ankle so he crashes down just short of the pile* No diving into the food, my  
friend, it's against the rules.  
  
Seymour: Ow...I think I hurt myself...  
  
Amy: Your fault for going for the cheese.  
  
Auron: *snickers*  
  
Sara: *asleep sitting up* *Z*  
  
Lulu: You know, I have been wondering this ever since a week or two ago...why on earth do you  
have those...things...painted on your chest, Seymour?  
  
Seymour: *looks grumpy* They're Yevon symbols, and they aren't painted on. Okay?  
  
Lulu: You mean you actually got those tattooed on? Damn, that had to hurt.  
  
Seymour: It did. c.c;;  
  
Amy: I don't know, they look like dragons to me.  
  
Kara: Yeah, me too.  
  
*Someone bursts out of the bushes with a squeal*  
  
Amy: *doesn't even turn around* Hello, Tabi.  
  
Tabi: How did you know it was me? ^_^  
  
Amy: No one else squeals like that. :b  
  
Tabi: *eyes lock onto Seymour* Ooh...bishie...topless bishie...topless, sexy bishie...topless, sexy,  
irresistible bishie...  
  
Seymour: O.o *inches away slowly*  
  
Amy: Uh-huh. ^_^  
  
Tabi: *sits down next to Amy* Can I have him?  
  
Amy: What?! NO! He's mine!  
  
Tabi: But, but, he's bish!  
  
Amy: He's MY bish!  
  
Tabi: *sniffle* Can we share him?  
  
Amy: Well...okay.  
  
Tabi: Yay!  
  
Seymour: I'm owned now? Oo;  
  
Amy and Tabi: Damn straight, Seymour!  
  
Rikku: Uh...I thought we were going to do the cheese storyline...  
  
Tidus and Tidra: *eat all the cheese* What cheese storyline?  
  
Rikku: Never mind then.  
  
Tabi: *sigh* Shimoa-roushi-sama yarite...  
  
Amy: Hai... *sigh*  
  
Kachi and Kara: *giggle*  
  
Yuna: I thought I was supposed to marry him?  
  
Amy: Uhh...well...er...not...anymore, you're not.  
  
Tabi: He's ours now. *bares her teeth*  
  
Amy: Yeah, so let's be otherwise occupied! Come on, Tabi!  
  
*They both grab one of Seymour's arms and drag him off*  
  
Yuna: *sigh*  
  
Rikku: Let me guess, the cheese again.  
  
Lulu: Let's go see.  
  
Rikku: Yeah! *grins evilly* We'll go crash their party!  
  
*So Rikku and Lulu walk over to the far side of the plain...pull aside the magical hovering  
curtain...and...*  
  
Amy: ACK! Go away!  
  
Tabi: Eek!  
  
Seymour: They're gonna steal our cake!  
  
Rikku: *sweatdrops* I'll just go away now.  
  
Lulu: But they've got cake...chocolate cake, at that...  
  
Tabi: Yeah. It's ALL OURS. *takes a bite out of her piece, smirking*  
  
Rikku: I hate chocolate. *walks off*  
  
Amy: Testy, isn't she? *munch*  
  
Lulu: Yeah. *sits down* Mind if I join you?  
  
Seymour: Not at all, have some cake.  
  
*Back at the campfire...*  
  
Rikku: Another stupid storyline gone awry.  
  
Kachi: Did you say they had CHOCOLATE cake?  
  
Kara: I love chocolate cake...  
  
Risu: *Z*  
  
Sara: I want some, too.  
  
Rikku: Well, then go over *there*.   
  
Kachi, Kara, Sara: We will. *get up and walk over to the cake-fest*  
  
*Back at the cave...*  
  
Amy: *looks up* Oh, hi guys! Have some cake! It's really good.  
  
Sara: Don't mind if I do. *sits and takes a slice*  
  
Kara: Chocolate! ^_^  
  
Kachi: *sits down, eyeing the double chocolate cake with a vengeance*  
  
Amy: Take some, it's okay.  
  
Kachi: *snags a slice* Yum...  
  
Kara: *takes some of the plain chocolate cake*  
  
Seymour: *munches on his slice*  
  
*Back at the campfire again...*  
  
Risu: *wakes up* Where did everyone go?  
  
Rikku: *grumpily* Over *there*.   
  
Risu: Geesh...sod off if you're gonna be a grump.  
  
Rikku: They have chocolate cake...and they didn't invite me! *gets teary-eyed*  
  
Yuna: I thought you hated chocolate.  
  
Rikku: I do. It's the principle of the thing.  
  
Auron: *falls asleep*  
  
Risu: Well, I am going to have cake. Anyone gonna join me?  
  
Yuna: I will.   
  
Wakka: No thanks. I'm on a diet, ya?  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri not like chocolate either.  
  
Tidra: Food...  
  
Tidus: Count us in.  
  
Spaz: Ah, why not?  
  
*So Tidus, Tidra, Spaz, Risu and Yuna went to join the festivities.*  
  
*Back at the cave once more...*  
  
Tabi: We're gathering quite a crowd! *passes cake out to the newcomers*  
  
Seymour: Yeah, and they're eating all the double chocolate cake!  
  
Amy: Then get a slice. *hoards hers*  
  
Seymour: Oh...good idea.  
  
Lulu: -_-;  
  
Tabi: *passes him a slice*  
  
Seymour: Thanks! *munches*  
  
Tidus and Tidra: *are eating whatever cake they can get their hands on*  
  
Yuna: *delicately eats hers*  
  
Risu: *tries not to stuff his whole slice in his mouth at once*  
  
Amy: *finishes hers* That was quite tasty.  
  
*Everyone else finishes theirs too*  
  
Amy: You know, I'm a bit sleepy...  
  
Seymour: Me too.  
  
Kachi: Yeah.  
  
Amy: So let's have a nap-fest! *falls asleep...in Seymour's lap*  
  
Risu: *keels over into Kara's lap*  
  
Kachi: *rests her head on Kara's shoulder*  
  
Lulu: *just falls over backwards*  
  
Yuna: *leans against Seymour*  
  
Sara: Hehe. *topples face-first into the remains of the cake*  
  
Kara: *wobbles, then falls over onto Amy's foot, causing Kachi to land on her stomach*  
  
Seymour: Eh. *copies Lulu, keeling over backwards and falling asleep that way, causing Yuna to  
fall onto his chest*  
  
Tidus: *lays on his stomach*  
  
Tidra: *lays on Tidus' back*  
  
Spaz: *sleeps on her own, curled into a cute ball*  
  
Tabi: Hm...why not...*also falls asleep in Seymour's lap*  
  
*Back at the campfire*  
  
Rikku: What ARE they doing?  
  
Auron: Why don't we go find out?  
  
Kimahri: We go, see what they are doing, then come back?  
  
Wakka: Nah, I'm breaking my diet, eh?  
  
Rikku: Shame on you.  
  
*So they went to the cave.*  
  
*At the cave ONCE AGAIN...*  
  
Rikku: Isn't it cute? *gags*  
  
Auron: Hm, I'm kinda tired...let's take this opportunity. *sits down by Lulu, and topples so that his  
head is resting on her chest*  
  
Wakka: Hey, that's MY girl, ya? *lays down next to her and puts an arm around her*  
  
Rikku: *eyes Seymour* I wonder if there's any more room over there.  
  
Kimahri: Find out. *yawns and curls up, keeping a tight hold on his spear*  
  
Rikku: Okay then. *goes and lays down next to Yuna*  
  
*But before Kimahri falls asleep, he sweatdrops.*  
  
  
Next time on Unfinal Fantasy: Seymour puts on some different clothes! 


End file.
